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Simplifying Me

I took a break from my challenge because life became overwhelming; being all that you can be is not an easy task. However, I am back to my challenge and this week, I will attempt to write a post each day. The challenge within the challenge is to write my thoughts as they come within a ten minutes time frame. The activity will help me to recognize the things that are occupying my brain space so that I can focus on the topic of ‘my book’ and in essence, I will understand me a little more.

So here goes:

Today, I woke up wanting more sleep. I got to bed at 2:19am and my alarm went off at 5:15am. I was completely annoyed. I did not get up though, I rolled over and laid in bed for another 2 hrs. While lying in bed I thought about my writing, realizing that my confidence has grown through posting and publishing some articles, so now I should move on to the next level of focusing on either completing one of my three unfinished books or beginning a new one.

My mind then took me to a mental check of what my day will be like, and while it is overflowing with things I need to get done, I made the promise to myself that I will stop and breathe at least once today.

In the middle of that thought Zee knocked on my door and I knew my ‘me time’ was over, I now had to face today, but before I do, I stopped and prayed. Of late my prayers have been random and this morning was no different. I found myself praying for the very small things; being appreciative of love, my family and friends, and even the opportunity to be living in this beautiful place call Whidbey Island.

I also took the opportunity to write a love note to hubby to remind him of how much I love him. Seriously, deployment is no joke, and anyone who decides to join the military needs to be aware of how difficult it can be to cope with such long absences. I am certain that we are able to endure this, our first of many, because of our faith in God. It certainly has given us the strength to overcome and shed light on the many lies and attempts that the enemy uses to distract and destroy couples. It is because of my faith in God, I can keep on loving and trusting this man even though he is half way around the world. As a matter of fact, my love for him has multiplied immensely, and the most wonderful thing is that his expressions of love have also intensified. Only God, I say!

There is no deep rooted message from me today and I think that’s okay because one of the things I have realized is that once in awhile I need to uncomplicated my day and simply take things slow. Life is already in the way, so for today, I will just go with the flow.

Tendai Mwari

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Posted by on October 1, 2012 in My family and I, Opinions

 

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Hey Navy, May I Get Him Back Now?

It has been awhile, a very long time, since I last saw my husband and this morning I woke up missing him like crazy. The day he left for his deployment was bitter-sweet but right now his absence is just bitter. Waking up, yet another morning, without him is not welcoming. Let us not even mention the loneliness I feel at nights…

Today I woke up wondering what it will be like once he gets home. Will the boys respond to him in their natural manner or will they pull away? Will I be able to understand him now? Will he still be able to meet my needs? Will his smile be the same, permanently pasted in the corners of his mouth? Will he fit into the roll of things or will we have to start all over again? My head aches with all these questions and this makes me miss him even more…

Before he left we were in a good place. We were finally understanding the little things about each other and were having fun being together. He was enjoying spending time with the boys; eagerly awaiting the weekends so that he and Zee could leave early in the mornings for their fishing trips, or excitedly getting ready to teach Ishmael about racing cars, or just ‘chillaxing’ with them both, while they were all glued to the television, competing on one of the many (too many) video games that they have.

While he has been away we have intentionally worked on keeping in-touch, ensuring that we don’t miss a beat in each others life. He keeps me up to date with the latest happenings and I get to amaze him with the boys growth. He reminds me how much he loves me and the boys, and we get to compete on how creative we can be with the many ways we get to say ‘I love you’ (the boys seem to be winning this competition, with a little help from mommy).

With this deployment, we have also grown closer. Yes, we have! Our prayer life has gotten stronger and we have both become even more dependent on each other’s prayers and encouragements. We honestly can’t seem to get enough of each other.

Our intimacy has deepened as well because we now have a bond that is surpassing time and space. Our conversations are loaded with things to come…I can’t wait!

Yet, this morning I am up, anxious, feeling alone, missing him and wanting him home…

One thing for sure though, is the fact that he is an amazing husband, yes he is, and he is definitely a super dad (this is coming straight from the boys mouth). Knowing this, gives me faith that even if things are not the same when he returns, his qualities will shine forth and we will be able to enjoy each other still, the problem then is, WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME?

We miss you OMB!

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Posted by on September 13, 2012 in My family and I

 

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A Conversation with Your Heart

I need your love, can’t you see?

I need to be loved by you completely.

Your love means you will be there for me.

Your love means that there will be liberty.

I am not here for a minute or two.

I am here to spend my entire life with you.

Love me baby like there’s no other,

Love me only and make it better.

You need my love too, I know,

You need to embrace my soul.

My love is yours never fear

My love is here, it has not,and  will never fade.

I need you to love me baby,

I need you to let your heart show me.

 
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Posted by on July 31, 2012 in Poetry

 

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Delayed But Certainly Not Denied!

Delayed But Certainly Not Denied!

The beginning of forever

Where do I begin? The bible says that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing but I have been wondering what about a woman who finds a husband…

It is our dream as females to find that man who will love us either as our daddy did or as the fairy tale books have portrayed it and we set out seeking that love at all cost. Through the journey, we get hurt, some get damaged and distracted while others press on with the determination that their love is out there awaiting them and in the end, they are the ones who will find that man, the man who will cause their toes to curl and their feet to pop.

Travelling over two continents and back, my journey took me on a world-wind tour that brought me to this place. My journey, not being the story here but deserving of a brief note, was tumultuous yet rewarding. I was able to emerge as a strong, centered, and God-fearing woman and for this I am grateful.

Arriving at this place took tears, fights ( not physical, well a little), guts, determination, counselling, love, but most of all, God!

The day we met, I thought, yeah right, your just like all of them…but on October 30, 2008 when you proposed to me, you proved to me that I was wrong.

Then you took it up a notch, became a father to our lovely son Zee, married me, took on the role of breadwinner and man in charge. You dazzled me with your love and showed me what it means to have a priest in the home.

With the birth of Ishmael, you grew into a man of valor and quickly outmatched all the male role models I held on to. You became a force to reckon with and I realized that being by your side was the best place to be.

Oliver Michael Brown, to you, I give my all and on this our second anniversary, I am speechless and so, I will let these guys (the professionals) try to express how I feel…

1. You really had my heart from hello but everything else had to catch up with it, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dChnfK4T4OA&feature=related

2. Looking back over our life together and eagerly awaiting the future, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSzCSCKEL00&feature=fvwrel

3. Even when you have nothing to say, I am at peace, knowing that you love me because http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2El6y-9qMoU

4. Baby, throughout our life together you have become http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDm2AIw7Myo&feature=related

5. Finally, I really just want to say http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yy4uzNDYFlE

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY GOOSEBUMPS, KEEP ON AMAZING ME WITH YOUR LOVE.

 
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Posted by on May 30, 2011 in My family and I, Uncategorized

 

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