Days are brighter with your smile.
Nights are longer just because you have to hang on just for awhile.
Your voice brings joy to one and all but your cries will tear down the Berlin wall.
Your presence is known there is no doubt in my mind,
That you my boy will surpass the “No Blacks” line.
You are a superstar, yes that’s what you are.
My little Ishmael, the one whose cries God hears from afar.
I love you so. Happy Birthday.
Some times your past tries to catch up with you but that’s okay, dont be afraid. Just stand up straight, square your shoulders and in a bold voice, denounce it. Let your past know that since you have overcome it, it is now dead to you and there is NO room for it. You have learned and have moved on. Good-bye!!!
The promise in you out-lives all the mistakes you make, so don’t sit down in your mistakes, rise above them. Do not depend on ‘Hagar’ to give birth to your dreams for you, it is all in you!!!!
For years I have struggled with fulfilling my destiny. I know what I am called to do and am assured each day about it, but for the life of me, I seem to be stuck and I know that it is my thought process that is blocking my advancement. I believe that I need to see the money before I can step out and achieve it. So each day, I put off my dream and concoct in-between ideas to get me through, waiting on the right time to act. Each year, I have realized that the right time has evaded me and here I am once again with my dream, waiting…
Recently, I planned on accepting a friend’s offer to invest in my dream and was very excited about it but then I realized that this offer was loaded with requisitions that were equivalent to selling my soul and after fighting to come up with possible ways I could evade falling into the trap, I decided to stand for what I believed in and walk away from the offer.
A day or so after doing that, I was introduced to a business man who showed interest in my ideas and we discussed it all and I left the meeting believing, yes, this is my answer, God has truly showed up for me this time. A number of meetings ensued and I felt so alive and upbeat that nothing could get me down. My dreams were finally taking flight…
Now, I am here wondering, what really happened, because this investment opportunity has seemingly vanished and I am left scratching my head. Now what? Where do I go? What must I do now? I was so sure that this was it!!! And so my down time started all over again…and for a brief moment I was back in ‘my waiting.’
But, today, I have found a pep in my step. I am going to pursue… I do not believe that the business man was a fake and I also do believe that his offer or some opportunity is out there waiting on me, I just need to find a way to access it. So today, I have decided to proceed as if I have overcome this hurdle and move forward putting everything into place. Today, I am walking in my faith…I know I have some crazy faith, so today, I am exercising it.
As I type this, I am reminded of a dramatic presentation that I once did. I closed my eyes and walked down an aisle, repeating, “I walk by faith and not by sight” and from now on this will be my motto. I will close my eyes to what is presented in front of me and move along, believing and knowing that God is in control.
God has equipped me with the talent I need. He also promises that He will cause me to be a blessing to others and in turn cause men to bless me. Why then am I standing in my way and trying to manipulate everything to work how I want them to? Especially when I know that God has already made the way?
I have finally unlocked another “ah-ha moment” and am sooooooo excited that I did. I certainly do not need a Hagar to bring forth my dream, I just need to show up for it, and walk in it.
To you, if you have a dream, that you just cannot seem to shake. Start taking the steps toward fulfilling them and cast all your cares upon Jesus and let us watch Him make our dreams real.
As I write this blog, I am cautioned by my senses to be politically correct, knowing that if I mention my true feelings as clearly as I would love to, I might be censored or even painted as prejudice against others but the distaste that has been left in my mouth is causing a severe case of upset stomach and shivers.
What has gotten me so annoyed? The slumber of the church!!
In Matthew 16 when Jesus said, “and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it,” He was talking about the power and authority of the church, yet in my lifetime, it seems as if the gates of hell has overtaken the church and has robbed it of its voice.
Are we called to minister to ourselves? Are we called to save christians? Even Jesus saw that this was nonsensical when He pointed out that He did not come to save the saved but sinners to repentance. So why then are we locked behind brick and mortar and refusing to take it to the streets like all these other organizations that are fighting to corrupt our values?
“…and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven…” Since I believe in the word of God, I believe this is possible but what does it really mean? Who was it speaking to? Was it an individual, a specific group, or everyone?
I am not claiming to be a learned student of the bible but with my limited reasoning abilities, I gather that this was directed to the church, and we all know that the church is not the building but the people within. It was informing the church that it has the authority to ratify and agree with issues or to prevent them from taking root, yet every other month or so, we hear of some other erosion of our christian values and WE do nothing about it. What’s going on?
We cannot run and hide when we have a responsibility to stand up and demand that our values remain intact. What are we teaching our children? How do we expect them to continue the fight or even live a christian life once we are gone? It seems as if our generation, the one before, and the one immediately following, has completely lost the battle to evil because we refuse to open our mouths and speak out.
Tonight, I watched the news as they announced that the bill to legalize gay marriage in WA has been passed and the only thing to delay its effect is a referendum, and I am praying that the church will awake and get busy and ensure that the total amount of signatures are gathered because I believe enough is enough.
Oh, and before you attack me for this statement, please know that I am in my right to state that I do not believe in gay marriages. According to my principles, the ones I was raised by, this is wrong, and no amount of discussions or appeal to my reasoning will change that. Yes, on this, I refuse to compromise. I am taking my stance.
Why does it matter if gays are allowed to marry? It matters because society is now dictating to my boys that it is okay, and it is not. Try surfing your television channels after 12 midnight and you are bombarded with gay movies. Allow gay marriages and these shows will overtake day time television any day now. Not only that, but that lifestyle will be publicly displayed everywhere we go.
What kind of values are we now teaching? That anything goes? No! not so. If you are gay and want to accept that, that is fine, but once it starts invading, and degrading the christian values that we used to believe in, the values that have built this great nation, then someone needs to stand and say “NO MORE!”
Please do not believe that I am picking on gays, far from it, we have drifted so far away from our fundamental values that almost all have been eroded by something or another, and I cannot just sit idly by and not say something, after all, I do have a voice… too.
There are many other issues that the church need to stand against and I am calling to our leaders, you were not ordained to hide behind brick and mortar but to be captains of the army of Christ, so get yourselves together and CHARGE!
Awake Zion, awake!
…around the dining table staring at the wall, wondering what next? Meanwhile, in the distance, Nick Jr. is on and Ishmael is happily singing and dancing to a rhyming song and Zawadi is somewhere reading. My thoughts penetrate the wall through to the other side and now I am standing outside in the cold all alone and feeling lost. This feeling envelops me and I begin to wonder where everyone went. Then a strong force of wind blew right by me and I disappeared…
On Dr. Drew’s LifeChangers program a young lady who has been married for 16 years proposed a one year separation from her husband in order for her to find herself but everyone seemingly think that this quest is 16 years too late and that she should not embark upon it. Accordingly, today I will opine on women and marriage, the surest way to lose self-identity.
Although I have not been married for 16 years, I can surely attest to the fact that there are times when I need a moment for me, just so I can remind me of me. While I get this desire, I rarely act upon it and will go on and on for months, even years before I stop and assure myself of me. This is not planned, and it is definitely not the best thing to do but with all that is included in our daily roles, it is almost an impossible feat to secure that time and space to be alone and love me.
On Feb 6. I added,
So here is what I suggest:
My week of new-found peace
I got up at least one hour earlier than everyone at home (5:00am) and set a bath or watch one of my recorded shows (since I cannot get to watch them at the regular times). This allowed me to relax and unwind, getting rid of any left over stress from the day before, allowing me to face the new day with open arms. On Wednesday, after everyone was gone to bed, and after I was through with studying, I jumped in the couch and listened to some of my favorite songs, ignoring everything else that was there waiting on me. Finally, throughout each day, I stole 15 minutes to encourage myself, reminding me of just how awesome I was and the superb job I was doing with my children, husband, and me.
Try it, it might give you that release you are seeking, it certainly has rejuvenated me and I think I am ready to go for another year or two…or… I just might make this an ongoing thing.
It is somewhat difficult to keep up with my pledge to write at least one blog per week, but I am certainly trying…
There are a number of issues that I would like to address here but due to the lack of time (since I am suppose to be studying) and the lack of research into these areas, I will only make mention of a few.
First, let me start with thanking God for my pastor, Mark Dillon, who have been in my corner and have helped me to realize my dream of becoming a published author. My first article was finally published in the Washington Word…but wait… that’s not all, it was selected by our church’s headquarters to be used on a national front. I am so excited!!!! Without my pastor, believing in me and encouraging me to get it done, I would probably still be sitting here dreaming about it. Thank you Pastor.
Now let’s get down to my thoughts:
What’s in a name?
Recently, this was the intense discussion between one of my closest friends and I. Do our names determine who we are? Does it matter what we call ourselves or if our names are not a part of our culture? How should we choose a name for our children?
As the conversation intensified, I realized that we were saying the same thing but were missing one unspoken truth, a name is important but the lessons you teach a child by far outweighs the importance behind a name. Or better yet, let me compromise and say that the two go hand in hand. It makes no sense to call your son “Strength” when he has no clue what it means. My son Zawadi, has been told from he was in my womb the meaning of his name and how precious a gift he is, but that did not stop there. Once old enough, he and I researched his entire name and then discussed what it means to be called by such a name. As a result, he is proud of his name but more importantly, he is developing a character that is befitting a “prince with power” and a “gift through faith.” He has realized that his name may be shared by millions around the world, but in his case, he will endeavor to wear that name as a badge of honor. That is not just in the naming of a child, but has now become a lifelong lesson in how to behave and live to a higher standard.
With Zee, I have enjoyed the lessons learned and am currently undertaking the same approach with Ishmael, who seems to know instinctively that “God listens” to his every cry and so all the better for him to cry as he pleases…
I will end by saying, while it is of importance for you to honor your culture, your family, and imagine a bright future for your child, when seeking the perfect name to give him/her, it is even more vital, that you plan for and ensure that you provide a life full of lessons of love, peace, prosperity, kindness, joy… and good citizenship for your young ones.
Let Us Cause Them to Fulfill those Empty Promises, Once and For All!
These political debates and campaigning has drawn my interest more than ever and I am not sure why. However, I am oftentimes left with the same question, what’s new? While I am not a doomsday preacher, it is certainly looking dim for our society with the slim pickings that are being offered to us both here in the United States and recently in the Jamaican elections…
But, I should pause here and point out that while politicians will always sell us what they think we want to hear, it is our duty to hold them accountable and turn their empty promises into meaningful actions. Let’s us not stop short at buying the “nothingness” that they breathe over the airwaves, let us OCCUPY their words and show them just how powerful the 99% can be.
There is more to the right of voting than just placing a mark where a name is. We are called to stand up and say yay or nay to these misguided men and women who lose sight of the bigger picture once they reach their destination. The White House or Jamaica House is not the final destination but the beginning of a journey towards bettering a people by ensuring peace, equality, freedom, and justice for all.
Less they forget…we, dear citizens need to band together and remind them just who they are working for. Less they lose sight and start believing their dung…corporations are people…let’s give them a wake up call by breathing down their necks, scrutinizing every move they make. United, we have the power to demand a better way of life, so let’s get up and act…empty promises have finally reached their expiration date.
Senseless Studying
Standardized Testing is cruel. There, I have said it. I do not believe that true scholars are made by memorizing infrormation that will be readily accessible therafter, and so I am officially against standardized testing…well probably not officially, but for now, I am against this senseless studying. I am soooo tired.
I am over my allotted time, so until, I can sneak some more time away from Barbri texts….keep reading, and thinking…a beautiful mind should not be wasted.
Taking Root: The Vision of Wangari Maathai sunk deep into my soul last night and it added to my call for action. Later, Daughters, Left Behind, reminded me why it is our responsibility to stand up and live an unselfish life, especially when we have children. I strongly believe that we, as women, mothers, wives, are responsible for the tomorrows of our children and that is the ultimate reason for us to stop allowing our lives to pass us by.
While I advocate being at home to care for and nurture all young children, I refuse to accept that this limits our offerings to the world at large. We are women, and in my book, that means we are multi-taskers, well put it this way, the world requires us to be able to do more than one thing at a time. Isn’t that why we have the kids, while caring for the husband, while going to school, and working full-time?
Recently, I have been bemoaning the fact that I have so many ideas in my dream book but they have been left there to die because of daily life as one pursuing a Masters and BAR, a homeschooling mom of two young lads, and a doting wife of a sailor. How dare I? Does that mean I am not to give of myself to my community, my country (whichever one I choose), my world? I have realized that I have succumb to the “I” business and have buried a few of my ideals.
Leaving a positive mark in our communities, countries… world, is an important purpose for women to attend to becuase of our design. We are able to lead with compassion and understanding. We are equipped with listening skills that by far outmatch our men. We are endowed with poise and grace. Our feminity is a gift not a curse, and above all else, women are blessed with the ability to “see down the road and around the corner.”
Why then are we standing idly by when our planet is being polluted? Why are we not banding against political corruption in our backyard? Why are women taking the roads of infamous criminals, leaving their young to follow that pattern? Is this what we want for our children? Is this the life we plan on leaving them?
C’mon!! We are WOMEN made for a much bigger, much better purpose. Wake up now, no more sleeping in…bed, or our heads, whichever!!
Women, this is your WAR CRY!
I am greatly anticipating the movie “Iron Women.” I have been in-love with the power of Margaret Thatcher from ever since and it is this admiration that has always inspired my desire to be more than ordinary in every aspect of my life.
Recently, I was asked in one of my classes to identify my role models and explain why they were given such a powerful place. While the assignment led to some deep soul searching, I realized that all of my role models were change-makers. The list includes: Abigail (in the bible), Nanny of the Maroons, Margaret Thatcher, Eleanor Roosevelt, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and Alexander Bustamante.
This has given me a new lease on my life. I am not letting go of my desires nor will I let them be watered down or neglected anymore. Afterall, I was not placed here to blend in, but to STAND OUT.
Another interesting fact that I was made to realize is that three of my female role models, the birthdates of the other two are not known, were born in the month of October, an important factor that has now empowered me with undaunting confidence. To me, this is my call to walk into my destiny, knowing that greatness is on the horizon and all I need to do is reach out and take it. NOTHING TO IT!!!
With this new lease on my purpose in life, I turned my search for confirmation to my heavenly father, knowing that without his stamp of approval, all of my desires are worth nothing. So a few days ago, after a prayerful hour in my shower, I was led to read Deuteronomy 9, and after reading, I realized two things. First, God was willing to take me into my promised land, and second, it was not because of anything I could have done. This realization became humbling, and mind blowing. I also came to understand that the only thing that has been in my way was fear, and rightfully so, because I am called to enter into areas that are bigger than me. But guess what, with God I can meet these giants and conguer them. In reading the commentary for this passage, I came away with this overwhelming thought, “it is necessary for me to understand that the challenges ahead are impossible on my own, but I am guaranteed victory and success once I approach in honor and awe of God.”
So not knowing what tomorrow holds, I have started my today with making my goals for this year.
1. Get admitted to WA Bar: I did not sit the July exam due to a death in my family and so I am planning on taking the February one.
2. Expand my articles: I am currently writing a five part series on Estate Planning for the Washington Word. I would like to also write about issues with Immigration and Elder law in other established journals before starting my own.
3. Hold seminars/conferences: This is a new area for me, so need more research.
4. Start my law firm by July 2012 in both NY & WA: A dream I have been fostering from age six. My law practice will focus on making positive changes in the lives of those I am blessed to enter. My dream has always been to empower and defend the masses in order to create some sense of social justice in our world.
So here I go!!! If you have any questions, comments, or pertinent information that may help please feel free to add it below.
The beginning of forever
Where do I begin? The bible says that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing but I have been wondering what about a woman who finds a husband…
It is our dream as females to find that man who will love us either as our daddy did or as the fairy tale books have portrayed it and we set out seeking that love at all cost. Through the journey, we get hurt, some get damaged and distracted while others press on with the determination that their love is out there awaiting them and in the end, they are the ones who will find that man, the man who will cause their toes to curl and their feet to pop.
Travelling over two continents and back, my journey took me on a world-wind tour that brought me to this place. My journey, not being the story here but deserving of a brief note, was tumultuous yet rewarding. I was able to emerge as a strong, centered, and God-fearing woman and for this I am grateful.
Arriving at this place took tears, fights ( not physical, well a little), guts, determination, counselling, love, but most of all, God!
The day we met, I thought, yeah right, your just like all of them…but on October 30, 2008 when you proposed to me, you proved to me that I was wrong.
Then you took it up a notch, became a father to our lovely son Zee, married me, took on the role of breadwinner and man in charge. You dazzled me with your love and showed me what it means to have a priest in the home.
With the birth of Ishmael, you grew into a man of valor and quickly outmatched all the male role models I held on to. You became a force to reckon with and I realized that being by your side was the best place to be.
Oliver Michael Brown, to you, I give my all and on this our second anniversary, I am speechless and so, I will let these guys (the professionals) try to express how I feel…
1. You really had my heart from hello but everything else had to catch up with it, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dChnfK4T4OA&feature=related
2. Looking back over our life together and eagerly awaiting the future, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSzCSCKEL00&feature=fvwrel
3. Even when you have nothing to say, I am at peace, knowing that you love me because http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2El6y-9qMoU
4. Baby, throughout our life together you have become http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDm2AIw7Myo&feature=related
5. Finally, I really just want to say http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yy4uzNDYFlE
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY GOOSEBUMPS, KEEP ON AMAZING ME WITH YOUR LOVE.
The unknown
Tired and sleepy, I lay in my bed hoping that the thoughts in my head will quiet down and allow me to sleep. Without realizing it, I am off and peace takes over. Then panic, wait, I cannot move, “help” seems to big a word to come from my mouth. My mind is racing and I am fighting to call on Jesus but nothing. My hands and legs feel as if they are tied with some rope and there it is that presence. “Who are you? What do you want? Leave me alone! JEEEEESUUS,” still no words. Ok so let me chant said my mind… “the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the blood….” Finally relief, my legs are free, then my hands and now my mouth, “Jesus, the blood of Jesus. In the name of Jesus there is no room for you here.” Now I am awake, shaking but relieved, I overcame again.
Science claim that this occurrence is best explained as either sleep paralysis or the more extreme cases include or are caused by narcolepsy. Sleep paralysis is best explained in http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1740 and is basically a period of inability to perform voluntary movements either at sleep onset (called hypnogogic or predormital form) or upon awakening (called hypnopompic or postdormtal form).
In my mini-research I was able to find numerous accounts of ‘sleep paralysis’ and the common thread is that almost every account claimed that it was a demonic attack. I find this very interesting as the accounts were not only by Christians but persons from all over the world. As such, I decided to extend my research time and dig a little deeper. Starting with identifying scriptures that identified the existence of demons, such as Mark 16: 15-18; Luke 4:14-18 and Luke 9:1 (just to name a few).
Next I wanted to find out how these demons attack and the first thought was the account of Jesus being tempted by the devil but this did not come anywhere close to the experience of what is described as sleep paralysis and so I needed to find more examples. This led me to this article http://www.bible-knowledge.com/spiritual-warfare-demonic-attacks/.
After reading the article a few of my questions were answered but more questions were posed and I became seriously concerned with levels 1, 3 and 4 since these levels are not of your own volition but because of external forces. If this is so, how do you fight back? That thought however was reigned in because I am still seeking to find out whether or not sleep disorder such as sleep paralysis can be linked to demonic attacks.
My research then led me to an even more troubling scenario, termed ‘incubus or succubus,’ and this is descriptive of spirits having intercourse with humans while sleeping. See http://paranormal.about.com/library/weekly/aa092099.htm.
Now I am asking myself, if it is in fact sleep paralysis, do we have any control over the hallucinations and if we do why would anyone imagine being raped? As a result, I started to search for medical articles to further explain the phenomena and was overwhelmed by the scientific information and terminologies. However, none answered my question but proposed that molestations in the past might be the reason not only for sleep paralysis but also the incubus/succubus experience.
On the website demonbuster.com, I performed a search under the heading sleep paralysis and found nothing but once I typed in dreams the page was flooded with various articles, none with ‘dreams’ in the headings. I read a few and thought that the information was informative but not what I was looking for. I then decided to search for spiritual warfare and see if this sleep paralysis would somehow be a part of this and here is my result, very interesting. http://theologica.ning.com/forum/topics/demonic-stuff
While I still am yet to decide what I believe, I think it is fair to say that both approach seem lacking and probably it might be best if we accept the scientific approach and seek treatment and lay the demonic attack idea to rest, in order to sleep well at nights. On second thought, can we?
Wow, now I have to get to class in less than 3minutes and I did not complete my reading, drat, see what researching interesting stuff does?
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